My phone rings.
“Is this the guy that writes the sports?”
“I don’t write sports, but I write the outdoor column that sometimes appears in the Sports Section,” I say.
“That’s what I mean,” the caller says. “Anyway, I know a guy who knows a guy who saw a tractor trailer full of coyotes come in from Texas and the DNR let them loose at Rocky Gap State Park.”
“What’s the guy’s name?” I ask. “The guy who saw the truck and the coyotes.”
“I don’t know,” the caller says.
“What’s the guy’s name who knows him?”
“Bob.”
“Bob who?”
“I don’t know his last name.”
“How can I get ahold of him to find out the guy’s name who saw the truck and the coyotes?”
“I don’t know that either.”
“What’s your name?”
“Click.”
----
Ring.
“I know a guy who knows a guy who has a video of a coyote den where the coyotes brought 14 fawns back for the pups to eat.”
“Did you see the video?”
“No. But this guy I know did.”
“How can I see the video?”
“I don’t know.”
----
“I know a guy who knows a guy who shot a coyote with an ear tag that had the name of an insurance company on it.”
“Where can I see the tag?”
“I don’t know.”
----
“I know a guy who has a friend who saw a DNR helicopter drop rattlesnakes in little blue parachutes.”
“Do you have any of the parachutes or know where I can see one?”
“No.”
----
“I know a guy who has proof that the DNR transplanted bears into Maryland.”
----
“I know a guy who knows a guy who has proof that the DNR brought the blue tongue disease into (Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania) to knock the deer herd down.”
----
“I know a guy who knows a guy who has a cousin who has pictures of the DNR releasing mountain lions on the Savage River State Forest.”
----
“I know a guy who can prove that the DNR makes up the deer kill numbers. You know hunters aren’t killing that many deer.”
“Which DNR? Maryland or West Virginia?”
“Yeah.”
----
Show me the video. Show me the ear tag. Show me the pictures. Show me the parachutes. Show me the proof. Show me the money.
Otherwise, please don’t call (301) 784-2523 with any more of these stories.
I know a guy who knows a guy who doesn’t want to hear them any more.
Contact Outdoor Editor Mike Sawyers at msawyers@times-news.com.
Michael A Sawyers - Outdoors
Show me the money
- Michael A Sawyers - Outdoors
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Tink was picture- perfect
At the end of our hallway is a room that has served a number of purposes. Originally it was Seth and Ryan's bedroom.
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Stuffing 10 pounds of outdoor news in a 5-pound bag
Pardon me if I use this Sunday to sit back and take a breath.
Wow. -
Mountain State’s backyard backstraps
Homeowners’ associations in West Virginia, especially those in the Eastern Panhandle, are signing on with the Division of Natural Resources for special neighborhood archery hunts for the deer that are eating their ornamental and garden plants.
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Ten miles around the block
Jim and Robin Wiegand, who own and operate the Bassin’ Box in LaVale, have a vision of the upcoming deer season.
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Face spited! Nose gone!
There are pert near 6 million people who live in Maryland.
Each year, about 80,000 who are older than 15, but younger than 65 purchase what is called the Resident Regular Hunting License. -
Reintro of elk just fine by me
OK. I’ve decided. I’m for it.
I’m for the reintroduction of Rocky Mountain elk into Almost Maryland.
I mean it’s not like we’re talking about bringing zebras into Garrett and Allegany counties. -
New regs getting closer in Maryland
The Maryland Wildlife & Heritage Service held two public meeting recently to discuss thoughts about hunting regulations for the next two seasons.
At the one in Annapolis on March 6, a little more than a dozen people attended.
But in Hagerstown on March 13, 160 hunters showed up to let their thoughts be known. Great turnout. -
Let’s get ready to gobble!
The thing I hate about Leap Year is that it makes for one more day that you have to wait until spring gobbler season opens.
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Md. DNR says no to handguns
If blue crabs grew to be 120 pounds in two years or maxed out in the 400- to 600-pound range, I guarantee you that the Maryland Department of Natural Resources and the General Assembly would collaborate to find a way to protect Marylanders who stick their toes in the Chesapeake Bay.
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Big increase in Md. hunting license price being considered
The Maryland Wildlife & Heritage Service will seek by way of the General Assembly an astounding increase in the cost of hunting licenses. As of Friday morning the bill had not yet been filed.
- More Michael A Sawyers - Outdoors Headlines
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