Does Shaq have anything left in the tank? The good people of Cleveland can’t find out soon enough as Cavaliers general manager Danny Ferry has brought The Big Aristotle to town to team with LeBron James, and presumably at least three other guys as well.
Naturally, Cleveland sports fans are abuzz by the prospect of LeBron and Shaq cutting down the nets next June (do they even do that in the NBA?). It’s been 45 years since Cleveland has been able to boast a professional championship team, so the people of Ohio are now suddenly eager for another NBA season to begin. But first things first. With the news of this blockbuster, Cavs fans have work to do. Shaq needs a new nickname.
Yes, it’s true. The man who has called himself “The Diesel,” “Shaq Fu,” “The Big Aristotle,” “The Big Daddy,” “Shaq Daddy,” “Superman,” “The Big Agave,” “The Big Cactus (after being traded to Phoenix),” “The Big Shaqtus,” “The Big Galactus,” “Wilt Chamberneezy,” “The Big Baryshnikov,” “The Real Deal,” "Dr. Shaq" (after earning his MBA), “The Halle Berry of the NBA (“Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me.”) and “Shaqovic,” among hundreds of other things, needs another nickname. And not to worry, the people of Cleveland understand this and are already hard at work, so far coming up with “LeBrawn,” “Shaqron,” “Shaqen Loans,” “Shaqer Heights,” “The Cleveland Plain Deal Sealer,” and “The Eery Canal.”
The final decision, of course, will lie with Shaq, who always seems to pick the best and most appropriate moniker for himself.
Say this for the NBA, it has been a lot of fun to follow lately, from the beginning-to-end drama of the just-completed playoffs (other than the outcome, they were the best playoffs I can remember in a very long time), to last night’s NBA Draft (OK, there wasn’t much to that), to this — the trade of Shaquille O’Neal to Cleveland, bringing two of the closest things there are to real-life cartoon characters together on the same team.
And say this for Ferry as well. He was under the gun to produce help for LeBron this offseason, if for no other reason than to show his poor-loser star that the Cavs are serious about winning the championship, and will continue to be serious about winning it. Ferry said help would be on the way, and he went straight to the top in acquiring a Hall of Fame center with four titles on his resume, and who will help make LeBron’s life a whole lot easier in the paint.
Now are Shaq’s better days behind him? No question, but it’s not as though he has to be the great and dominant force he once was. He merely has to be a presence — the while elephant in the room you’re not supposed to look at — and that will do wonders as he is already the best player LeBron has ever suited up with by far.
Or, as Shaq himself once said, “I’m not a young jitterbug anymore. When I was a young jitterbug, I never won. I didn’t start winning until I got older. The older I get, the wiser I get. You just have to play it smart.”
The deal guarantees nothing, of course. It doesn’t guarantee the Cavaliers a title, nor does it guarantee LeBron still won’t take his Yankees cap and fly away to New York once his current contract is up. But know there is plenty of incentive in this deal coming Cleveland’s way. For I don’t know if anybody noticed, but that was Kobe Bryant who just won the NBA title. Not the Los Angeles Lakers. Not Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers. Kobe Bryant. It was Kobe Bryant who won the championship, giving him three with Shaq as a teammate and one without; tying Shaq, who won three with Kobe, and one without.
You don’t think that matters to these guys? Think again. They can play kissy face all they want to and tell us they’ve put their differences aside, but they both still want to be able to have the final say as to who was more important, and who had more of anything.
Bet the ranch Shaq shows up in Cleveland in the best shape of his life. He’s no young jitterbug any longer, so with the window closing on his career, this may be his final opportunity to win one, maybe two titles so he can have the upperhand in this ongoing unspoken personal rivalry.
Of course, for that to happen, Ferry has more work to do, LeBron has to continue to grow up, Shaq has to stay healthy and everything has to fall perfectly into place as it does for any championship team. Then, of course, now that he’s no longer living in the shadow of The Curse of the Shaqino, who’s to say Kobe won’t lead the Lakers on a run of about three more titles?
Shaq to the Cavs to team with LeBron guarantees nothing — other than a full season of pure entertainment, of course. Only with Shaq, less than two weeks removed from one season and sill four months away from a another one, is that a guarantee.
Mike Burke is sports editor of the Cumberland Times-News. Contact Mike Burke at mburke@times-news.com.
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