After Diamondbacks right-hander Jon Garland made his National League debut Friday night, his manager Bob Melvin said, “It looked like the ball was jumping out of his hand better than some of the spring training outings.”
As he usually does, Orioles closer George Sherrill made things interesting in his one inning of work Friday night, giving up an Evan Longoria home run before preserving the save in a 5-4 win. But it was a good outing for Sherrill, because, in the words of manager Dave Trembley, who must have practiced this one during the offseason in front of the video camera in his living room, “That’s the first time we’ve seen the ball come out of the hand for George like that.”
But it was the second time we saw the ball come off of the bat for Evan like that.
And honestly? I can see Trembley walking around the house during the offseason in full baseball uniform, just as I can picture William Shatner walking around his house dressed as Captain Kirk. But I digress.
What is it with this “the ball came out of his hand?” stuff this year? It seems to be the new catch phrase in baseball, but what does it mean? Does it mean the pitcher fumbled, or does it mean he threw well?
I liked the way the ball came out of his hand.
The ball really came out of his hand tonight.
Where do these things come from? Is there a guy from MLB who annually passes out scripts for deep ways of saying baseball’s basic things?
Years ago when “velocity” first entered the language of baseball, Joe Garagiola said, “They say this pitcher has really good velocity. In my day, we just said, ‘Boy that guy throws hard.’ ”
It’s baseball, not NASA. Or English Lit.
The other day I was listening to Cal and Bill Ripken’s radio show, which is must-listen radio for any baseball fan, with Bill, in particular, being a natural as the words really come out of his mouth. On the day I was listening, the Ripken boys were talking to Curt Schilling, who, as we know, lets a lot of words come out of his mouth, and they were discussing the Tampa Bay Rays.
Well, The Schill, in between telling the Ripkens about his personal relationships with just about everybody in baseball, let it be known about six times in five minutes that he was the one who said from the beginning that the Rays would be in the running for the AL pennant last year. He was the one who spotted Tampa Bay’s pile of young talent, and he knew what they were capable of because of his personal relationship with manager Joe Maddon.
(I envision this picture of Schilling sitting at a long banquet table, much like Jesus did at the Last Supper, flanked by every successful and influential person in baseball. I mean who died and made this guy Howard Cosell?)
Schilling also likes the moves the Rays made over the season, saying Gabe Kapler is a “superstar when it comes to club composition.”
Club composition. What does that mean? The guy builds a helluva club sandwich at the cold cuts spread after games? He’s a great writer and will be in charge of writing the team term paper that’s due at the All-Star break? Or does it mean Kapler is a good role player, who can start or come off the bench to play more than one position?
Hey, as Joe Riggins, manager of the Bull Durham Durham Bulls, said 21 years ago, “Baseball is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.”
Now, however, it seems the object is to win the World Series and the Pulitzer.
And speaking of catch phrases (and simple), here is a prediction for Masters Sunday. Chris Berman, lord of the simple (and not in a good way) catch phrase, usually makes his annual guest appearance as co-host of SportsCenter every Masters Sunday. If he graces the set tonight, this is what will happen just as it does every year, once his young co-host has completed his required genuflection.
1.) Berman will wear a green jacket and point it out for those of us who still have a black-and-white TV set, saying he did so in honor of the Masters.
(For a bonus gak, he will point out that his green jacket actually fits this year as he has lost 100 pounds, or whatever the total will be, as though we aren’t all too aware of that from having that weight-loss commercial crammed down our throats.)
2.) He will try to be nice, but end up being his usual pompous, condescending self to his co-host by saying something along the lines of, “Hey, this is your show now. (Translation: I made this show, girly man.) Don’t let me get in your way. (You’re a wannabe, punk.) Go ahead, do your thing. I think what you guys do is mahhh-velous. (God, I look good in this green jacket.)”
Even I can’t deny what Chris Berman has meant to SportsCenter and ESPN, The Total Duke Network, but thank goodness Masters Sunday comes just once a year.
Mike Burke is sports editor of the Cumberland Times-News. Contact Mike Burke at mburke@times-news.com.
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