When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
1 Corinthians 13:11
Hence, when I was in my mid-20s, I enjoyed Chris Berman’s schtick. But when I reached my 30s I began to come violently and physically ill whenever I entered a room that had his self-loving mug on a television screen.
As I am now in my 50s, I have been ill quite a bit.
Twentysomething years ago, I, like so many others, watched SportsCenter to get the latest Chris Berman nickname. I mean, Bert Be Home Blyleven? That’s good stuff, and so were most of the other ones. But now, all these years later (he’s obviously doing something right ... or has some serious pictures), it’s difficult to leave the television on whenever he’s on it. For not only has he given himself, not one, but two nicknames, he’s now taken to showing highlights of himself.
If I want Chris Berman highlights (and I don’t), I go to YouTube. When I want sports news, I’d like to think I go to ESPN. However, in fairness to Berman, that’s becoming increasingly difficult to do because just about every host ESPN has now has same the affliction — the story isn’t the story, the person trying to deliver it is.
Other things that make me weary:
Yes, of course, Tim Tebow. I believe we covered this one last month, but since, as of Saturday at least, he hadn’t gone away, it means he, too, has been doing something right. Which, of course, is the point. Tim Tebow wins games, but the Denver Broncos lose them. Which has been the reverse of the situation in Baltimore, as the Ravens won 12 games this year, while Joe Flacco lost four.
I’m probably saying this too soon, because the Houston Texans have a great defense, but as Ron Jaworski pointed out in Friday’s Baltimore Sun, “What do you hear about Tim Tebow right now? Oh, he’s a winner. What the hell has Joe Flacco done? Playoff wins, on-the road wins, you have to be kidding me. How can you not respect what this guy has done? Does he have warts? Certainly, but all the quarterbacks in this league do.”
(Jaworski had to reword the last part of that statement, by the way, to “all quarterbacks’ games have warts,” when hand doctors for Tom Brady called for a clarification.)
This past week, Flacco was being ripped by the national media for saying he didn’t care if he isn’t viewed as an elite quarterback. What is there to rip for that? You think John Unitas cared what the media thought of his standing among other quarterbacks?
And don’t think Unitas isn’t part of the perception here, because people in Baltimore — as they should — still refer to Unitas in reverent tones, and every Baltimore quarterback since Unitas has consciously or subconsciously been compared to Unitas, whether its’ been Marty Domres, Bert Jones or Joe Flacco.
That’s just the way Bawlmer is, hon. Who’s the best third baseman the Orioles have had since Brooks Robinson retired? Why Doug DeCinces, of course, the man who succeeded Brooks Robinson, and who was nearly run out of town for not being Brooks Robinson.
Naturally, Orioles fans wanted DeCinces back almost immediately after he was traded for Disco Dan Ford, but the Orioles had to make room for a can’t-miss rookie third baseman, who nobody in the organization other than Earl Weaver believed could play shortstop. That rookie third baseman, of course, was Cal Ripken, who went on to Cooperstown as one of the greatest shortstops to ever play the game.
Who’s to say? Flacco may well lay an egg today against the Texans. Still, Baltimore fans had better understand they’ve had much worse than Joe Flacco under center and very easily could again should he one day be DeCincesed.
Baltimore has a good NFL quarterback, which is something the majority of the 32 NFL cities cannot say.
Meanwhile, we won’t have Luke Scott to kick around anymore, as he signed a one-year deal with the Tampa Bay Rays last week after spending four years with the Orioles.
Let’s be clear about something. Scott’s love for and practice of the Second Amendment is not something that drove some of us up the wall. Nor was his regular discussion on his religious and political views a problem. All three are his rights, and that he is so honest is all the more reason to like him. More power to him.
There can be no questioning his work ethic and his joy for the game, but Luke Scott, aside from being the king of the solo home run in a five-run game, couldn’t get a runner in from second base in a tight game if his life depended on it.
As for his defense, let’s just say he is a natural-born designated hitter, and natural-born designated hitters who hit in the middle of the line-up were put on this earth to do the one thing Luke Scott does not do — drive in runs.
In short, old Luke is as clutch as Chris Berman is humble. Good luck and good riddance.
Mike Burke is sports editor of the Cumberland Times-News. Write to him at mburke@times-news.com
