Believe it or not, I once read Plato’s “The Republic” and understood its contents, which contained an exchange between Socrates and some of his students.

Socrates was well up in years, and the boys were teasing him because he had abandoned all romantic interests.

“All I know,” Socrates told them, “is that I have escaped from a fierce and terrible master.”

I once told my father that in some ways, it was a lot easier to be 50 than it was to be 20, or even 30.

“Wait until you’re 85,” Dad said, “and see how easy it gets.”

Plato also said that “Wisdom begins with the awareness of what you do not know.”

In that respect, I have grown wise with regards to women. I am very much aware of how much I do not know about them ... but that doesn’t mean I know nothing.

Which brings us to Tiger Woods.

Tiger wrecked his car at 2:30 a.m. while in an apparent state of extreme haste to get away from his house. His wife Elin was right there to extricate him after bashing in a car window with a golf club.

Anyone who has even a smattering of wisdom and experience as they relate to the opposite sex must surely have said, “Mmm ... hmmmm.”

Even though he is the best golfer in the world, Tiger still hits a tree now and then.

I soon received an e-mail that purports to show Tiger and Elin in a scene reminiscent of the “American Gothic” painting.

Tiger’s face is bruised and laced with stitches, one eye is swollen shut, and several of his teeth are missing. Elin is standing next to him, holding a 9-iron. (Like her husband, she would appear to get a lot more out of a short iron than most folks can.)

Other Tiger jokes arrived, including these:

• The police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. "I don't know exactly,” she said. “Put me down for a 5"; and

• “Tiger’s new movie: ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.’ ”

Some folks must have been waiting for a reason to go after Tiger. He is handsome, intelligent, articulate and personable, enormously talented and successful, and he is rich and famous. They dislike him for one of two reasons: They envy what he has, or they think nobody should have that much.

He’s what he is because he was raised in a family that has strong traditional values and has worked harder — both mentally and physically — than most people could dream of doing. Success that’s honestly and honorably achieved is still rewarded in America, and it should be.

Tiger also has applied a lot of his abilities, influence and money to philanthropic purposes, particularly where kids are concerned.

People wonder how he could commit such “transgressions” (his word) against his family.

IF he is in fact guilty of something (I retain the old-fashioned notion that an accusation is not equivalent to a conviction), it’s because he’s human.

Handsome, intelligent, articulate, personable and talented are chick magnets, especially when they are combined with Rich and Famous — and, as a lady friend of mine says, “Men are men.” Which is not an excuse. I come from a long line of men who enjoyed associating with women and appreciated their femininity, but who were thoroughly faithful to their wives.

Men with high profiles are often vulnerable to this phenomenon, particularly when they add Powerful to the equation. There recently has been a swine flu-like outbreak of politicians who were caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar.

Years after he was gone from the place, allegations surfaced that Jack Kennedy had clandestine nocturnal visitors brought to the White House two at a time. If this is true, it’s little wonder he had back problems. And yes, there was Bill Clinton.

Reports are that Tiger and Elin have begun discussing the status of their marital assets. He is apt to find out that this is like negotiating with Iran and North Korea about their nuclear programs.

Jon Gosselin, former co-star of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight,” is in the same boat and for much the same reasons (although to compare him in any other way to Tiger Woods would be an insult to Tiger). Kate has told reporters the kids are suffering from television withdrawal — they miss the “TV food” — and she is exploring the possibility of a new show. Call it “Kate Plus Eight and Her Lawyers Minus Jon.”

Americans have a penchant for joking about other people’s problems ... which is good, if in so doing we also joke about ourselves. As long as enough of us remain politically incorrect, there is hope for America. In the long run, those who take themselves and everything else too seriously won’t stand a chance against us.

I was sitting with some friends the other night when the conversation turned to Tiger Woods.

One of the women asked, “Why do men do things like that?”

Neither my buddy nor I said a word. He is married and a few years older than I am, and the extent of his wisdom as it relates to women surpasses even mine. (Remember that wisdom begins with the awareness of what you do not know.)

Directly, one of the ladies said, “Well, it works both ways. Women chase men, too.”

I told my buddy, “That’s something else that becomes less of a problem as you get older.”

None of the women asked why he and I laughed so energetically and for so long that tears came, and it became difficult to breathe ... let alone talk. Every time it seemed to subside, we looked at each other, and it started again.

I don’t know that we could ever explain it to them or anyone else who doesn’t already understand, but I do know this:

If my dad had been there, he’d have laughed just as hard.