Guess who’s waiting for you at the shop

Jim Goldsworthy, Columnist

From Washington comes word that U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens has been rebuffed in an effort to have his corruption trial moved from Washington to his home state of Alaska.

According to the Associated Press, Stevens wanted to campaign for re-election at night and on weekends while defending himself in court during the daytime. An ambitious schedule, that.

In terms of taxpayers’ dollars he’s brought to his state, Stevens is to Alaska what Sen. Robert Byrd (whose honesty no one questions) is to West Virginia. It’s entirely possible that if the trial were removed to Alaska, the government might not be able to find 12 people who would vote to convict him.

AP said he is accused of lying on Senate financial disclosure documents about hundreds of thousands of dollars in home renovations he received from a corrupt oil services contractor. Two executives of VECO Corp. have pleaded guilty to bribing Alaskan lawmakers.

Stevens also wanted jurors to visit his Alaskan ski chalet to see for themselves if renovations made by VECO matched the prosecution’s estimates of what it cost. The government says the exact cost isn’t important, so long as it exceeds the $260 that Senate rules say Stevens should have disclosed, but didn’t.

The same day it reported on Stevens’ efforts to juggle the court and the campaign, AP said energy companies had placed $487.3 million in winning bids for the right to drill in the western Gulf of Mexico.

The president has lifted an executive ban on drilling off the Atlantic and Pacific coasts, and congressmen of both parties say they may be willing to expand offshore drilling. With that in mind, I looked to see how much money energy companies give to political campaigns — but got a big surprise.

The Center for Responsive Politics (OpenSecrets.org), a nonpartisan research group that tracks money and the effect it has on politics, said oil and gas companies ranked only 18th in donations to congressional campaigns during the 2007-2008 cycle. The information was released last month by the Federal Election Commission.

Lawyers and law firms were first with $88.8 million, followed by retirees, securities and investment firms, real estate, health professionals, insurance and education interests. Oil and gas gave $10.9 million.

The top congressional beneficiaries from each of the top 50 industries were also named: Sen. Barack Obama led in 21 categories (including lawyers and law firms), followed by Sen. John McCain (12, including oil and gas), Sen. Hillary Clinton (11, including lobbyists in general) and six others in one category each (Sen. Harry Reid got the lion’s share of donations from casinos and gambling interests, which should surprise nobody, considering that he represents Nevada).

This leads us to a story that a friend e-mailed me a while back:

The Haircut

A florist goes to a barber for a haircut. When he asks about his bill, the barber replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.” The florist is pleased and leaves the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning, a “Thank You” card and a dozen roses are waiting for him at his door.

Later, a police officer comes in for a haircut. When he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.” The officer is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, he finds a “Thank You” card and a dozen donuts.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut. When he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.” The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there’s a “Thank You” card and a dozen different books, such as “How to Improve Your Business” and “Becoming More Successful.”

Subsequently, a congressman comes in for a haircut. When he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.” The congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, a dozen congressmen are lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress. Vote carefully this year.

——————

My grandfather was, as I’ve told you before, a barber. One of his regular customers was the late Rep. Harley O. Staggers Sr.

Staggers was an old-fashioned liberal Democrat, and my grandfather an old-fashioned conservative Republican. I’m told that their arguments about politics were something to behold, but that didn’t keep them from being the best of friends.

Based on what I remember and know of those two men, I suspect that the barber may have offered to cut the congressman’s hair for free, but the congressman paid anyway.

Staggers may have been a congressman, but he was first and foremost a citizen of the country. He was a friend to both sides of my family (having played high school football with my Uncle Lohr Jackson), a Navy veteran of World War II, joined his wife Mary in raising one of the finest families I know and spent a lifetime doing community service.