Although my favorite meal is generally whatever I am eating at the time, I lean toward choosing breakfast above all others.
That’s because it involves combinations of savory meat and eggs, potatoes, sweet things made from grain and the day’s first coffee. Much of it is fried.
Al Gore would say it has a high pork fat footprint.
When I go to a new restaurant and find out there is a breakfast buffet, my heart leaps ... sort of. Like a good dog, a good breakfast buffet isn’t going to let you down.
My friends and I walked into Dunlap’s in Gettysburg and the waitress said there was a breakfast buffet. A target of opportunity.
They’re going to feed me all of the scrambled eggs, sausage and/or chipped beef gravy and biscuits, sausage, bacon, home fries with onion, doughnuts and fruit that I can eat, and all of the coffee I can drink, for $6.50? The biscuits were fluffy and hot, and the sausages were real sausages, big and juicy and aromatic with spices and garlic — not those insipid, shriveled-up pseudo-sausages that are gone in two bites.
The eggs were powdered, but they were good powdered eggs, and I covered the biscuits with gravy and put the eggs on top of that. The trick was not to eat so much that all I wanted to do was go take a nap.
Speaking of targets of opportunity, my friend Gary might be the first Yankee to come under live fire at Gettysburg since the battle itself. A squirrel has taken a dislike to him and bombards him with acorns. (If you’ve ever wondered why why nutty behavior is described as “squirrely,”this should tell you.)
“And they’re not little acorns like we have around here,” Gary said. “They’re great big acorns, and they’re really traveling when they hit me in the head. It hurts. Mark can be standing right next to me, and he won’t get hit. It’s me he’s after.
“We were telling this woman about the squirrel, and she acted like we were crazy,” he said. “That’s when the acorns started coming down out of the tree. Every one of them hit me, and not a one hit Mark. The little b****** never missed!”
Mark and Gary wear the uniforms of Union Army lieutenants and go to Little Round Top to meet and talk to tourists and answer their questions. I’ve gone with them twice, during April and July, but didn’t see the squirrel because there were no acorns in the trees. No acorns, no squirrels. If I get back there in November, it might be different.
“I saw this damn squirrel standing there, looking at Gary,” said Mark. “I said, ‘There’s your buddy,’ and when Gary looked, the squirrel turned and went right up the tree. Wasn’t but a minute or so later that the acorns started coming down on him.”
“The woman who was watching this laughed like she was crazy,” Gary said. “She told me, ‘Look at his fur. It’s gray. He’s a Confederate squirrel, and you’re in a Union uniform.’ ”
Some people we meet are truly fascinating, like the folks who wanted Mark and Gary to pose with their Boyd’s Bear sitting on the cannon barrel. Every place they go, they take a picture of this bear.
Another fellow wondered how the battle would have turned out if the Confederates had cell phones. I was tempted to tell him, “They’d still have lost because Virginia was the only place that had cell towers. This was a dead zone up here.”
Two men and their two sons spent so long talking to us and were so interesting that when they left, I got up from the rock where I had gone to rest for a spell and came back to tell them good-bye.
When we got back to our motel that night, the same two guys were sitting on a bench in front of their room across the parking lot with a cooler of beer and a jug of whiskey. Kismet.
Both of the men were named Mark, and one had a son named Mark. The other boy was Christopher. I decided to refer to our Mark as Mark I, and the others would be Mark II, Mark III and Mark IV.
They were from New Jersey, and their families get together when the mood strikes to do the same thing we did that night — sit up until almost 3:30 a.m., being overgrown kids. Mark III had a stash of Guinness in bottles which contain a gas cartridge that injects the contents with effervescence. They sounded like a .22 going off when he opened them.
Mark I’s car was parked a few feet away, and he rolled down all of its windows and put the “Gods and Generals” soundtrack CD in to play.
As I was debating the wisdom of this, a woman in the next room stuck her head out of the door and asked us to keep it down.
The next morning, she said, “It’s a good thing my husband wasn’t here last night,” and I thought, “Oh, boy,” but she smiled and added, “Yeah, he’d have been right out there with you guys.”
Now, we have new friends from a faraway land. Mark II bought our lunch and tried to work it so we wouldn’t find out until after they left. We’ve been in contact with them, and they want to come and see where we live and schedule their vacations during the events we’re likely to attend in Gettysburg.
In some ways, new friends are like new breakfast buffets:
Enjoy them, but be respectful of what they offer and don’t take advantage of them. Be sure to give something back (even if it’s only to tip the waitress who brings your coffee or buy your new buddies lunch the next time). Visit them when you can — but not so often that you wear out your welcome — and appreciate the variety they’ve introduced to your life.
Above all else, just be thankful you found them.
Jim Goldsworthy - Anything and Everything
It was a classic case of nutty behavior
- Jim Goldsworthy - Anything and Everything
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Bad as it may be, the other one is far worse
One problem I have with being sick is that I don’t always realize I’m as sick as I am.
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Forget ‘air guitar’; try ‘air cannon’ instead
Imagine that you and your best buddy are 12 years old, and your mom has dropped the two of you off at PNC Park in Pittsburgh to see your first Major League Baseball game.
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It's best to beware of unseen hitchhikers
One of the questions Capt. Gary and 1Sgt. Goldy get at Little Round Top involves the stupid questions that people ask us.
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Whatever the general had, they’d be ready
The Confederates have far fancier and more colorful uniforms than we plain-blue Yankees do ... must be a cultural thing.
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They respect tradition without knowing it
Now and then, something gets the best of my better nature, and I try to take advantage of it — just to watch and enjoy the results. I like to keep folks guessing.
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What of those who brought them to life?
One risk associated with name-dropping (aside from the possibility that no one will be impressed) is that someone may ask, “Who?” at which point the whole thing falls into ruination.
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It’s simple: All you do is show up and eat
Here’s an email I received from a friend:
“Someone just made a comment and said to run this by you. I have to do it now since it’s fresh in my mind.” (This person is at least 20 years younger than I am and apparently has no inkling as to the mental adventures that lie ahead of her.) -
What have they found to argue about, now?
Some of my friends tell me they look forward to reading our editorial page each morning.
“I can’t wait,” says one, “to see what those people are arguing about.”
Those people have had plenty to argue about lately, and while some of they say is informative, part of it is just downright entertaining. Where a few of them get their ideas, I have no clue. -
It’s only a groundhog, not a meteorologist
A lady I know showed up recently with a magnolia flower in her hair. It was locally grown, and this was in the middle of March.
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What did he look like? He looked just like us
People I don’t even know call me now and then, just to chat for a few minutes, and sometimes we hang up as friends.
One new friend is the pastor of a church in Pennsylvania, and we seem to have a good bit in common. For one thing, we both believe in ghosts ... or at least, the phenomenon folks refer to as ghosts. - More Jim Goldsworthy - Anything and Everything Headlines
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Bad as it may be, the other one is far worse


