Cumberland Times-News Jim Goldsworthy - Anything and Everything

Not all grasshoppers wind up like Aesop’s

2012-02-11T17:46:52-05:00

I was reminded of an old story recently while talking with a friend about Aesop’s Fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper.

They got while the getting was still good

2012-02-04T18:45:36-05:00

I occasionally make reference to an unidentified woman as being “one of my numerous ex-girlfriends,” and the other night I sat on my back porch with my whiskey and cigars while conducting a review that went as far back as first grade to Indy and Sandy.

Who were the people who used these things?

2012-01-28T19:00:54-05:00

It’s not likely that Prof. Henry Gates Jr. and I share a great-great-grandfather, although it is conceivable that we are distant cousins.

What do you mean, you’re not retired yet?

2012-01-21T21:19:53-05:00

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64? (The Beatles, 1967)
That would now be me, as of two days ago, and there remain at least a few women who apparently are willing to feed me now and then.

Not just for one ... but for all of them

2012-01-14T21:11:18-05:00

Here’s a name you may not hear anywhere else: Spc. Robert J. Tauteris Jr. His friends and family call him “Bobby.”

I’ve not met him, nor did I even hear about him until last Monday. He was father to the son-in-law of someone whose friendship I have come to value.

Tauteris was one of four members of an Indiana Army National Guard squad who died when their vehicle was destroyed by an Improvised Explosive Device in Kandahar Province, Afghanistan, on Jan. 5.

The game is fun, but chasing the ball isn’t

2012-01-07T19:42:59-05:00

For the second year in a row, I spent New Year’s Eve in church ... part of it, anyway.
It was fun — “a small gathering of friends,” as Bing Crosby used to call his golf tournament.

The best thing about cheap is that it’s cheap

2012-01-01T00:00:00-05:00

Two advantages I have are that: (a) I don’t have expensive tastes; and (b) It doesn’t take much to amuse me.

No need to unwrap all of your presents

2011-12-24T09:48:07-05:00

In the weeks preceding Christmas, some people ask if I’m going to decorate. Most likely, they are just making conversation because they don’t expect a grizzled bachelor like me to do such a thing.

The other stuff is just wrapping on the gift

2011-12-17T18:50:05-05:00

Cousin Cyndy called me out of the blue some years ago and asked how I was doing.

My usual answer to that question is, “I woke up this morning. That’s a pretty good sign,” but I probably just asked her, “What’s up, Gussie?”

It’s not the gun, but the man who carried it

2011-12-10T18:26:33-05:00

An old friend asked how I was doing, and I told him I was on my way to make three women happy.